Another year has started and I will reflect on the more poignant events of 2010 that has lead to me writing this blog. Number One, I saw my 20s end. I think my turning 30 is probably the catalyst to what happened next, Number Two, my boyfriend and I left the freedom and sanity of our shared home and... we both moved in with my mother.
There is a very good reason to why two seemingly sound minded adults would enter into a seemingly mad situation and that is the scare tactics of, actually I'm not sure who they are, but they have made us believe that unless we surrender our privacy and move in with my mother immediately in order to save the thousands of dollars needed to enter a whole lot of debt in purchasing our first home, we will soom be priced out of the market and forced to rent for the rest of our lives or buy a house in Shitsville, or worse, Bendigo.
Number Three, I'm fat. Fatter than I've ever been. At first I tried to ignore it as any smart women would when faced with the prospect of Christmas festivities and all that it brings (and for me that means everything plus what my mum refers to as Greek Stuffing but is actually breadcrumbs and onion fried in butter). As I emerged from Greek Stuffing day, I realised that the mirrors at my mum's house weren't just on a different angle to what I was used to, I was actually enormous.
Number Four, in the year 2010 I spent an improper amount of money on clothes. I consumed them in the same unconscious daze as I have consumed the food that has made me the fattest I've ever been. Furthermore, I have purchased them to try and flatter and hide the bits that have engorged. What do I have to show for this spending? A closet full of clothing (varying from awesome and expensive to vintage and extreme, punctuated by about 12 pairs of jeans) none of which fit me. For the last 7 days, I have been wearing the same outfit, subtly accesorised differently. This outfit is the only thing that fits me.
From these musings, a resolution has been born. For 365 days, I WILL NOT purchase any item of clothing. I WILL lose the weight that got me here and I WILL fit into all the clothes in my closet. And I WILL share it with the world, or with you Sarah, Ingrid and Corey. The benefits are threefold, I will save the money I would have spent on clothes and this will go towards my home deposit. I will lose the weight I've been vowing to lose for 15 years and I will fit into the clothes in the hoarders delight that is my closet.
This morning I did the unthinkable, I weighed myself and confirmed what I knew deep down, I have breached the 80s barrier (not in clothing, though stay tuned for that) I weigh 81.3 kilograms. I've done the numbers and have calculated that in order for me to fit into everything, including the size 10 pair of leather pants I have (and I'm talking old school size 10, not the size 10s of today that are closer to a size 14 Australian Standard) I will need to lose 18 kilograms off my 1.7 metre frame.
My beautiful and supportive boyfriend Corey has got in on the act too. He doesn't believe the Bonds knickers I wear are all that sexy, he is crazy, but I'll oblige. He has said that for every month I go without any clothing purchase, plus lose 1 kilogram in, he will buy me a pair of what he feels are sexy knickers. For every month where I lose 3 kilograms, he will buy me the matching bra and knickers. The last time he pointed out sexy underwear, we were at Sexyland and I think they may have been strawberry flavoured, so we've agreed that choosing these items will be a collaborative effort.