Monday, January 3, 2011

Day 2- The Chosen ones

I sit here nice and bloated from the Indian take away I just had. Tonight I was meant to be at a friends birthday, but was too tired from my day of sifting through the clothes in my closet to find the special items that will guide me, like beacons of light on my journey from fat to fab.. no I take that back, far too cheesy, my journey from 'Oh f*$k what have I done' to 'yes, I fit into these leather pants, but have just realised I own leather pants'.
In order to get an idea for how far I needed to go, I found a nice selection of items to aim towards and then tried them all on. Now in order to take some good pics of the whole affair and not burn the irises of those who read this, I decided to wear what can only be described as an all in one fat covering suit that although intends to suck one in, actually takes any available wobble and redistributes it to very unnatural areas where the suit ends. I would rather my couple of inches around my waist, not concentrated just above my boobs or 20 centimetres down my legs. The only way to have a sucessful one of these suits is to cover the entire body, head included (I better patent that).
As I squeeze the fat redistributer over my body, it becomes evident (from the hysterics that my onlooking friend Sarah is now in) that this particular design has two large, intended, holes in it. One hole is in the front as sort of a belly button framer and the other is at the back of my crotch. I can't think of any practical reason for the holes, but the silver lining is that the belly button framer will hopefully see my belly button change from a sad face to a shocked face.
The Chosen Ones are as follows, from largest to smallest; A Basque suit, the pants I bought in a size 12 about 4 months ago, they should fit me in about 4-5 kgs time, these will be my first target, Kenji jeans, I actually picked these up today and said smuggly to my friend, these actually fit me, I was wrong, Patricia Field skinny jeans, my staples for a long time, a Cooper St lace see through top, a Nougat A-line skirt, a Wrangler mini skirt, a Third Millenium deco inspired gorgeous dress, equipped with price tag $550, never been worn, a Von Dutch denim skirt (remember Von Dutch), a Review dress, this didn't quite fit me when I wore it to my year 11 formal, during the night my breast popped out in protest while I was dancing with a boy, Lee purple skinny jeans that I wore when I first met Corey almost 4 years ago, the next item I'm not proud of, but I loved them at the time, they are Newspaper print pants, a Sportsgirl leather jacket, I bought this 7 year ago on a day when I recorded my lowest ever weight, I made the mistake of laybying the jacket, it didn't fit me when I picked it up 2 weeks later, a black pencil skirt, a Country Road tweed skirt that belonged to my mother that I've always wanted to wear, a vintage Prue Acton Purple dress and finally a pair of size 10 Leather pants.

Diet starts tomorrow.


  1. I'm hooked already...and only after 2 posts:)


    (ps. to those keen people who are following The Closet Diet Blog, let me introduce myself, i'm the friend Louise skipped dinner for in order to sift through her overflowing closet. My name is Ingrid. Also known as her #1 fan.)